An hour ago, I walked over to Starbucks to snag a mid-afternoon Americano. As I left, I got another to keep me rocking through the evening. My caffeine intake has quadrupled in the past two weeks. I've started grinding my teeth at night, and I'm not sleeping very well. My stomach is absolutely trashed from all the coffee I've consumed recently. It is pretty interesting to see how poorly a human being can take care of itself in the face of something as artificial as the Bar.
Preparing for the Bar has been an amazing experience. I vacillate between totally freaking out ("Holy shit balls, I'm going to fail! I'm going to work at Starbucks for the next 6 months!") and being completely blasé about the whole affair ("Dude, we all pass; no worries). Sometimes I walk around the house at a million miles an hour, hurriedly throwing things in my backpack as I leave. It feels like the minute I save is totally worth being an utter madman. I switch back and forth between these two states of existence a couple times a day now.
Someone should create a reality TV show on law geeks studying for the Bar. They could edit out the boring hours of reviewing notes and making flashcards, and just show their reaction to pranks. I couldn't imagine what I'd do if I got an official looking letter that said, "Mr. Bolder Law, your application to sit for the Colorado Bar Exam has been rejected for failure to send a valid copy of your fingerprint by the required deadline. Sorry."
4 comments:
Bolder, I am sorry to hear all that. Sorry for you, sorry for my future, sorry for everyone. I wonder how the medical exam takers handle it. And I'm sitting here overthinking a cover letter.
if it makes you feel any better, your attitude is totally normal. i think it allows you to be somewhat balanced--by going back and forth between the extremes, you at least average out to being sane.
just remember to breathe. it will all be over soon enough.
I'm experiencing all the same symptoms, including a strange addiction to iced coffee/americanos. Yesterday I had no motivation to study; this morning, I woke up and felt an overwhelming sense of panic. Even though I dread next week, it's going to be a wonderful thing when it's over . . .
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